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I’m officially running for
President of the United States.*

*I am not officially running for President. My highly paid team of campaign consultants advises me that this means I can still raise unlimited money for my super PAC without breaking the law.

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“I only say these things so you’ll think I care about you.”

Let’s Be Honest, America… 

 

 

Isn’t it time politicians were honest for a change?
I’m not here to tell you about “jobs” and the “middle class.” People without jobs can’t afford to donate to my campaign, and the middle class, well, they’ll be gone soon anyway.

My name is Gil Fulbright, and my promise to you is this: If elected, I’ll definitely sell you out to special interests and lobbyists, but I’ll sell you out to your face. I’ll drop the act and do whatever you pay me to do — as long as you can afford it.

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“I envision a better country for every American… who donates to my campaign.”